"Lickle more" - A saying of goodbye

Saying goodbye. Saying goodbye is probably one of the hardest things anyone has to do. Saying goodbye and leaving someone behind, especially an orphaned toddler, who has already been left behind once before, is even harder. May 2009, 17 individuals, including myself, embarked on a humanitarian trip in the slums of Jamaica where poverty is the only life the people have ever known. We drove through the jungle, suffocated by the scorching heat, to arrive at a beautiful white mansion on the top of a hill overlooking the sea of green tree tops.

Robins Nest Orphanage was housed in the white mansion, where a world of laughter, giggles and wild imaginations of 33 little orphans excitedly welcomed us! Through the laughter and excitement, I heard something that sounded like a cry. Making my way through the numerous princesses, cowboys and Indians, I opened the door to the nursery to find a baby boy named Dwight crying behind the bars of his crib urging for someone’s attention. I grabbed Dwight, removed him from the crib and held him close to me. His heart quickly beat. He was overwhelmed with uncertainty. I took him in my arms and wrapped my love around him as he drank his bottle of warm milk. During my stay, I sat with Dwight, I sang to him and played with his toys. His brown teddy bear was old and ragged, his toy cars missed a couple of wheels and his ball was slightly deflated. Yet, that did not stop his gentle nature from expressing his contentment with smiles with the flashing of his white teeth.

With numerous hours of playing, holding, feeding and making Dwight smile behind me, I brought him back to his crib and put him down. During my stay, I gave Dwight all the attention, the love and the care that I could possibly offer. I said my goodbyes and as he saw me heading towards the door tears started to run down his face. When I was no longer in sight, Dwight started to scream as loudly as possible. I was overcome by guilt but was obliged to leave. I felt I was abandoning this little soul in what is considered the poorest of the poor in Jamaica. The screams of this baby echoing in the hallways of the orphanage haunted me as I left the home. Nothing can describe the hurt, and the broken heartedness I faced as I left this desperate child behind.

This heart wrenching experience has opened up new challenges in my life. It has been a rewarding and an inspirational time that has humbled me and has permitted me to evaluate the riches I am blessed with. I left Dwight in the slums of Jamaica in the loving hands of his foster mom with bigger hopes and dreams of one day returning to his side.